What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
worst night to have a conscience
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
