So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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