By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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