WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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