So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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