All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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