i jhust puked up my retainher.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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