covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
