The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
