oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Pooping to opera.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
