Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
