I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
