are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
