there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
