I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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