What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize