That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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