You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
