And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
