you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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