2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
