Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
