Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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