Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
