Already got asked if we're dating
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
