one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
