you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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