Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
