If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
