He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
