obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
