im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
