it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
