i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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