i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
