Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
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For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you