Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?