I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.