hotel room ftw
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.