He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...