Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer