Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/g19l
  Replies (21) Good night (1684) Bad night (3977)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d
  Replies (12) Good night (2424) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever. http://tfl.nu/2p77
  Replies (292) Good night (29997) Bad night (13618)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you. http://tfl.nu/1yt8
  Replies (9) Good night (774) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind. http://tfl.nu/e2m5
  Replies (25) Good night (4853) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e
  Replies (22) Good night (6025) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03
  Replies (18) Good night (6461) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style. http://tfl.nu/liij
  Replies (2) Good night (2146) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut. (941): it was a krispy kreme http://tfl.nu/o743
  Replies (15) Good night (5151) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91
  Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy. http://tfl.nu/riha
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/r25m
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt http://tfl.nu/napj
  Replies (0) Good night (702) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me. http://tfl.nu/ou1n
  Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (994)

Randomize