Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom