Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize