from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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