I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
