I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
