So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
