If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
