Pappa wants mamma naked
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
