a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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