Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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