So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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