The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?