Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love Texas.

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  (832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv
  Replies (48) Good night (3869) Bad night (415)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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  (201): bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems http://tfl.nu/1roz
  Replies (34) Good night (3904) Bad night (1424) Order T-Shirt
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (510) Bad night (4081) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.

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  (904): now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis. http://tfl.nu/g1kt
  Replies (9) Good night (1295) Bad night (2263) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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  (508): i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot http://tfl.nu/slrj
  Replies (6) Good night (1746) Bad night (1242)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

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  (785): Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up. http://tfl.nu/s8n4
  Replies (14) Good night (2588) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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  (248): after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup http://tfl.nu/a67v
  Replies (22) Good night (1085) Bad night (8774) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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  (605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd
  Replies (1) Good night (2351) Bad night (626)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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  (250): Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv? http://tfl.nu/hacf
  Replies (9) Good night (461) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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  (505): see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/be9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1674) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

  (637): View more from

  We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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  (908): It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one. (637): We made popcorn last night. So it's both http://tfl.nu/itvi
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (1031)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin

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  (312): If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin http://tfl.nu/83ln
  Replies (9) Good night (528) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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  (904): My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy. http://tfl.nu/l9z4
  Replies (19) Good night (3118) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace

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  (805): I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace http://tfl.nu/uk2m
  Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  its good to be home.

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  (985): drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye. (985): its good to be home. http://tfl.nu/5qd5
  Replies (4) Good night (690) Bad night (148)

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