she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
