There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal