I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!