hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
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Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.