The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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