If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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