you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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