I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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