I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
