is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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