If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize