Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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