I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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