LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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