I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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