sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
