The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize