I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
