turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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