Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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