I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
