they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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