OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
