i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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