it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
