ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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