Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
