you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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