When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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